Scared Straight on A&E Feb. 24 2011 The Loaf

This post was going to be a scathing review of this weeks episode of Scared Straight. The reason this was going to be a bludgeoning of the series is due to the fact that this was more of a tour for these potential inmates. Escorted by over 7 correctional officers, these unruly and disrespectful teens were getting a tour more than being "Scared Straight" Elderly men talk with these bad children as if the generation gap couldn't be more prevalent. A simple lecture and guided tour was taking place on this wrongly titled "Scared Straight" episode until... they unveiled... the Loaf.

Years ago on an episode of 20/20, I have vague memories of John Stossel or visiting a prison and eating what they call in jail, the loaf. Stossel's loaf, however, was a wheat bread colored and textured mixture of bread, vegetables, and protein bits. As disgusting as that was, it at least had edibility.

When they released the loaf on this episode, it looked like a clump of dog food... that a dog vomited. I wanted to @johnstossel and bet him he would not even go near the loaf on this Scared Straight. A mound of dark brown wretchedness is served to inmates who decide to break the rules within the walls of Maryland Correctional and it will be eaten. Cook a sh*t log and you will have a taste of prison. Stay Legal

Ever been Gassed?

Lockup on MSNBC has given another top reason to please stay legal. Fleece "the Booty Man" Johnson, a prisoner doing a life sentence, tells a story so horrific that the human mind can not process the first time...

Ho-ly Sh*T!!
Speaking with actual corrections officers on my brief stint as a bailbondsmen, the officers reported that at least on correctional officer on duty is gassed. They also reported that the everyone of the cells in the Clayton County Jail has, at one time or another, been cleaned of human waste leading them to believe, as the rapper Maino put it, there had been a "Sh*t fight". Guys... please... PLEASE... Stay Legal

Scared Straight on A&E...

Every Thursday at 10pm et., the show "Beyond Scared Straight" airs. Although the intention of the show is good, it is just too soft on these would be criminals.

The show, Beyond Scared Straight, is about teens who have committed crimes getting a look inside of a real prison. The teens are escorted around some tough prisons by inmates with the hopes that the teens will ultimately see the harshness of the prisons conditions and make a change in their lives.

From the clip, one would think that this serious would be a very shocking hour but this is not the case. For the first 20 minutes, there is a brief break in period for the teens where the inmates introduce them to their world. The initial shock of being incarerated is palpable and can be felt through the screen. However, for the second half of the program, the teens are almost coddled. Every person should be handled with respect but the show of respect that the inmates show toward the teens could almost lead them to believe that there are men and women in jail with compassion which should not be the message. The message should be "never ever come to this place" as displayed below:

The thing that everyone should understand is that when you go to prison or jail you have life in prison. The reason is because at any second you could die. That is no different than the outside world but your chances of being invovled in a violent crime increases significantly behind the walls. Regardless of how big or small your crime is, you could be in jail for life. Stay legal.

First Timers...

    After watching the entire episode of Lockdown on National Geographic subtitled First Timers from 2006, I had so many feelings one of which, was to STAY OUT of prison.

    The episode begins with several new inmates arriving shackled in bright, awfully colored, orange jumpsuits to be "processed" into the Ft Dodge Correctional Facility in Iowa. After the opening monologue, the first audible sound in the slit of streaming narration that strikes the ear is a correctional officer casually saying "hey guys we gotta give you all a urine test so hold on..." which, sets a skin crawling tone.

    The first people we are introduced to are Ben Byford and Thomas Boggs, two seemingly all American guys. Boggs, a chubby, happy-go-lucky kid with no previous record, has no idea about prison or what he will face evident in his upbeat tone and casual nature. Biford is far more cautious as this prison sentence is his second term for a string of armed robberies. Although Biford has been in prison before, he seems to have a quality that comes across as well, weak. They arrive during "chow" and Boggs is immediately heckled by the tougher, more hardened criminals. Biford, no less than 2 minutes, gets into a fight in which, to the average viewer, he loses. This is their introduction into prison. Welcome.

    Watching this I couldn't help but wonder, are these guys dead now? They just seemed like meat to lions in prison! The boxer, Bernard Hopkins, said that "everyday in prison is dark" which I understood as nothing was worth living for. That coming from a fighter is impressive to say the least. So Byford and Boggs, 5 years later, are either hardened prison veterans, another inmates property, or dead. Each one of those scenarios is grim reminder for everyone with the knack for crime that, even if well intentioned, that the consequences of crime is a place where you either kill or be killed.  Stay Legal. Peace.